Some Days Are Harder Than Others

It’s been three and a half years since I lost my mom.  For the most part, I do pretty well.  I got past that part of grief where you wander around trying to figure out what’s the point of living.  I got past that point of feeling hollow inside.  I know that mom is in a much better place and that I’ll see her again.

So when I have a day like I had today, it takes me some time to figure out what is wrong.  I’ve been feeling irritated at everything today.  Feeling out of place and hopeless.  Couple of times, I just wanted to fall to the ground and cry over silly things like a spill that my child made.  It was during one of those clean ups that I realized what was wrong.  I miss my mom.

I miss her everyday, but not in this sad way.  Normally when I miss her, I have a smile on my face, because I know she is watching over me.  So it threw me for a loop when I realized that my problem was that I was grieving for my mom.  But I really shouldn’t be surprised that I miss her around this time.

My mom loved Easter.  When I got older, she would tell me that every time she saw Easter bonnets in the store, she wished her girls were small again.  I just know that my youngest daughter, Ann, would be sporting a new Easter bonnet from Grandma this year if my mom were still alive.

So what’s the point of this post?  For starters, it shows that you can still get sad even after you think you have came to terms with your loss.  Second, it shows that sometimes you can be bothered by something without knowing the reason. 

Third, and very important, enjoy the precious time you have with your loved ones.  You never know if it might not be the last.

I wish you all a blessed and Happy Easter!  May God be by your side on this holy day.


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