I Am Scared to Death (Life After Layoff – Chapter 2)

Today, I am embarking on a new phase in my life.  I was laid off from my job of 15 years as an Accounting Clerk at an Insurance Company back in August 2014.  I was fortunate enough to get a 7 month separation package from my old company, which meant I got a paycheck and kept my health insurance coverage during that time.  Unfortunately, my 7 month separation package has been exhausted and I am now officially unemployed and without health insurance.

This is part of the reason I am scared to death.  Because I know there is no more big paychecks being deposited into our checking account any more on my behalf.  There is only one pay check coming in from my husband’s job.  My husband has insurance coverage on himself through his company, but it is very expensive and we can’t afford to add myself or the children on his company plan.  If we did, he wouldn’t have a paycheck to cash.

So I am stepping out of my comfort zone to ask for help.  I am in the process of filing an unemployment claim to get some financial assistance for a while.  You see, I have not been sitting around the house the last 7 months.  I’ve worked as a substitute teacher at my children’s school.  I started out doing it for a little extra cash, plus give me a chance to be around my kids.  I had no idea that I would fall in love with teaching, but I did.

This is where the scary part comes in.  I have a plan in my head that sounds practical, but I don’t know if it’s going to work out.  I have an Associate Degree in Accounting and an Associate Degree in Data Processing from a Community College.  The two degrees helped me get into the accounting position at my previous job.  However, to find a job that paid as well as my previous job, I’d need to have a Bachelor’s Degree.

But I decided to go back to college to get a teaching degree instead of a Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting.  Teaching appeals to me more, plus I would be able to have the same hours as my kids do, which would help me with childcare expenses.

I know this may surprise you, but I am not always brave.  I have stood strong and supported my family and friends through many scary things.  I have faith in God above and know he is guiding my every step.  However, when it comes to having faith in myself, I fall short.  That section of my life was reserved for my mother.  She always had faith in my ability to do anything.  However, she is in Heaven now.

Oh, how I wished she was a phone call away today.  Because I needed to hear her tell me that everything would be okay.  Instead, I had to ask myself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” and the answer is they tell me no.  Then I told myself, if that happens, I’ll just need to go home, regroup and start again.

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