To All The Mothers

Mother’s Day is this weekend, so I thought it would be appropriate to salute the life of a mother.  I am speaking out for all those mother’s out there, in the trenches, raising one, two, three or more kids.  This one is for you!

Don’t judge me…if you stop by my house and see the pile of dirty AND clean clothes that have not been cared for.  Although laundry should be a simple task, sometimes things get out of hand.

Don’t judge me…if my kids are late for school all the time.  Although the reasons may sound lame, sometimes the tardiness is due to a simple thing like finding a clean pair of underwear, matching socks or a lost shoe.

Don’t judge me…if you wonder why my kids or I appear to be disheveled.  Although we do our best to look presentable, sometimes we might forget to run a comb through our hair before we rush out the door.

Don’t judge me…if you see me pulling into a parking spot and notice my kids are not buckled or sitting in the proper spots.  Although I know it is a law and it’s for the child’s safety, sometimes things happen during the drive.

Don’t judge me…if you see a photo that was posted on Facebook of my family and you notice a lot of stuff scattered all over the place.  Although I would like nothing more than to have a tidy and clean house, I have not found a magic wand that would make all the stuff disappear.

Don’t judge me…if you think my kids have too many toys.  I am aware that they do, however, you are only young once.

Don’t judge me…if you notice miscellaneous things scattered in my yard.  They are most likely things that my kids have found, destroyed, invented or forgotten while they were playing with their friends.

Don’t judge me for these things and many, many more.  Because I have done more than enough judging for the both of us.  The worst critic to a mother is herself.  There are many times that a mother is walking around with this guilt of what they should have done.  In fact, there are probably times when they are sure someone is judging them and honestly, the only one that is point the finger is the mother in question.

We have this preconceived notion of what we should do as a mother.  We want the best for our kids, but sometimes the best is not within arms reach.  That’s when we have to accept the fact that we have to settle for being mediocre in some areas.

In a perfect world, my kids would pick up after themselves.  Keeping our house and yard spotless.  Getting themselves to bed at a decent hour and ready to jump out of bed and get to school on time.  In a perfect world, my kids would understand why it is important to be in the proper seat with their seat belts on.  In a perfect world, my kids would help with chores like laundry and there would be enough room in our house to put away the clean clothes.  In a perfect world, moms would not be so tired and stressed all the time.

But you see, it’s not a perfect world.  There isn’t a survival guide to read when you are a mom.  If there is, I can guarantee that for most moms there isn’t enough time in the day to read the survival guide.  There is no such thing as a quiet, stress free, car ride with children.  There is no such thing as a clean and tidy home that is really ‘lived’ in.

Kids are messy, that’s a simple fact.  Some might be more willing to clean up after themselves, some of the time, but all in all it’s normally up to the mother.  A mother has to choose between being a constant maid and servant of her child(ren) or actually be part of the family and just belong.  I choose the latter.

Yes, I want my kids to look their very best.  I want them to be on time for school and to be properly buckled in a vehicle.  I want my house to be less of a minefield of toys and my yard to look less like a city dump.  But I also want my kids not to fight with each other all the time.  I want the luxury of not worrying about money.  I want everything in its proper place.  But I also want to enjoy the time I have with my kids and capture the precious moments of my kids being young and carefree.

If you want to put a smile on a mother this Mother’s Day, tell them they are doing a good job.  Trust me, they need to hear that.  Because in their mind, they are wondering why they can’t be as ‘together’ as those other moms.  They are doubting every decision they make and they are praying that they are not screwing up the child(ren) God blessed them with.  They are doing their best and they need to hear some reassuring words from their loved ones.  It is the simplest gift you can give a mother on Mother’s Day, yet it’s not done nearly enough.

{Side note:  In regards to the seat belt situation, I want it to go on record that with the exception of running up the block to the school, I make sure my kids are buckled in the vehicles.  However, that does not mean that my kids might not try to unbuckle the seat belt before we get to our destination.  On times like that, I do my best to get one of the other kids to try to get the other child buckled again.  Whether or not they are successful depends on the day and time.  I have thought to myself many times that I will feel so guilty if one of my kids ever gets hurt in a vehicle because of me not taking responsibility over the seat belt issue.  However, I think back to my childhood and to people I know that would have not survived a car wreck if they were wearing their seat belt.  So instead of over thinking the situation, I just pray to God that the family makes it to their destination safely.}

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