Waking the Butterflies (Life After Layoff – Chapter 13)

I discovered something very sad yesterday, it’s been a long time since my life has been exciting.  Don’t get me wrong, with four kids my life is always exciting.  What I mean is that up until this last few months, I have not experienced the type of excitement that makes your stomach feel like it’s full of butterflies.  The kind of excitement that kids still get.

I guess I accepted the fact that the butterfly stage was over, because I was too old for it.  However, I am here to report that it has nothing to do with age.  I know this because I’m 45 years old and I have recently experienced the butterfly excitement.

You are probably thinking that I’m crazy, which I probably am.  However, I feel I need to write this post for adults everywhere that thought their butterflies were dead.  They are not dead, they are hibernating in your stomach and they can be waken up too.  I wouldn’t recommend getting laid off work to find them, but hey, it will make them wake up.

Seriously, I realized yesterday, as I was driving to meet the college academic adviser, that my butterflies are awake.  I’m not saying I LOVE the feeling of having butterflies in my stomach, because the feeling also comes with this feeling of nausea.  However, I do love that I have something that I’m hoping for so much that it woke up my butterflies.

It’s called hope and opportunities.  It’s called belief and possibilities.  It’s that feeling you get when you strive for something out of the box.  And believe me, I’m all about staying in my box.  LOL  However, that inkling of hope that you have about something special could be the one thing that wakes up your butterflies.

It was such an overpowering revolution to me yesterday.  But the real surprise was that I didn’t realize my butterflies had fallen asleep for so long.  When did that happen?  Why didn’t I notice it sooner?  When did my life get so ordinary and unpredictable that my butterflies got bored and fell asleep on me?

Was it after I got married?  After my first, second, third or fourth child was born.  Was it when all of my children were out of diapers?  Was it on my 5th, 10th or 15th work anniversary?  I don’t know what year the butterflies went to sleep and I feel bad that I didn’t realize at the time that they had.

I feel bad that my life became so routine that my butterflies fell asleep.  I didn’t mean for it to happen.  I guess I was too busy maintaining life, that I didn’t realize that I wasn’t living life.  I don’t want to maintain my life anymore.  I don’t want to be so comfortable with my living situation, that I have nothing to be excited about.  Now that my butterflies have woken up again, I want to keep them awake.

I’m not saying that I’m going to start sky diving or something.  I’m not that crazy.  I guess I’m saying that I’m going to keep dreaming and pursue those dreams.  I’m going to put my dreams in action, even if there is a fear I might fail.  A person can dream all they want, but if you don’t put your dreams in action they just stay dreams.  I guess that’s where I’ve been all this time.  I’ve dreamed, but not acted on any of the dreams.

As long as the dreams stay in your head, the butterflies will stay asleep.  But if you step out of the box and pursue a dream, the butterflies will start moving.  Maybe that’s why God put that butterfly feeling in our stomachs, so we know when we are really living.  Needless to say, now that I know my butterflies are still alive, I’m going to keep reaching for my dreams.  I might not STEP out of the box at first, but I’m definitely going to REACH out of the box.

So I have a message to all of you that thought you lost your butterflies.  You didn’t, they are still there.  They have been sleeping…you just need to wake them up.  It might seem impossible, but it’s not.  I did it and I know you can too.

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2 thoughts on “Waking the Butterflies (Life After Layoff – Chapter 13)

  1. Too busy maintaining life to notice….Wow! Ruts happen and sometimes we have to dig sideways to get out of them. Keep reaching out of the box!

  2. Very well said! I think I need some butterflies! Thanks for the reminder that that is what my gut has been trying to tell me lol!! All this time I’ve been trying chocolate…my hips will appreciate the butterflies!!!

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