First Day of School (Life After Layoff – Chapter 21)

It’s here, the day my kids go back to school.  Summer is over…and I survived!!!  I have endured so much with my kids these last 8 weeks.  All summer long I have waited for this day to get here and yet, I’m really not as thrilled as I thought I’d be.  Don’t get me wrong, I am ready to be relieved of my 24/7 motherly duties.  I won’t be missing the constant bickering and whining that I have heard all summer long.  But I’m going to miss my kids.  Wait…who said that?

I confess, it was me that said that.  I’m going to miss hanging out with my kids.  Although we had moments this summer of boredom and crankiness, we had a lot of fun.  We shared some great memories.  (And I’m not just referring to the One Direction concert.)  We had some fun adventures and we had some relaxing times where we just chilled out together.  They have been my companions the last two months and when 8:00 am rolls around, they will all be going back to school and I will be at home alone.

I look forward to having some quiet time around the house.  But I also feel sad that I can’t go on to school with my kids.  I want to be there for them…to help Christopher get adjusted to his two new Pre-School teachers.  To help Marie get used to a new teacher in Social Studies and get back into the teenage scene.  I want to help Patrick get comfortable with his new classroom and his new responsibilities.  Although I am not as worried about Ann adjusting to First Grade, I am worried about her adjusting to being without me.

This is a part of motherhood that I don’t like.  The part where you have to let go of your kids to let them fly on their own.  I know they can all do it, I just hate to see them do it without me.  But it is something that I have to do, if I want to be a good mom.  I have a better understanding of what my mother went through year after year with her four kids.  I know she had the same fears and worries, because she told me later in life, but at the time it was happening, she had her game face on.

She was talking up school and all the fun we would have.  She knew the anxiety we were having about new teachers and new classmates, because she was feeling it too.  But she never let us know it.  She continued to do her part as our personal cheerleader.  Always placing encouraging thoughts into our heads, to help crush the doubt and fear we were feeling.  I know I have said this before, but my Mom was truly awesome.  And so, in her loving memory, I will try to do the same for her grandchildren.

I will get them up in the morning with a smile on my face and excitement in my voice.  I will gently nudge them into the car and joyfully escort them into the school building, even though I will be wishing in my heart that they could stay with me for the day.  I will give out all the hugs, kisses, fives and knuckle punches that they need to get them to smile before I leave them in their new environment.  And then I’ll go home alone and most likely cry, because I will miss my kids.  No matter how much a pain in the butt they are at times.  No matter how many times I have said out loud, “I can’t wait for school to start again.”  No matter how quiet it will be when they are all off to school.  I will actually miss my kids.

However…an hour after I pick them up from school today, I’ll most likely be ready for them to go back to school again.  🙂

One thought on “First Day of School (Life After Layoff – Chapter 21)

  1. LOL Well said! Sometimes the hardest thing to do is keep that game face on and cheer, when you are crying inside. But watching them soar is worth it!

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