Big Step Forward

Yesterday I took a big step forward towards my dream of publishing my book and I have the ants to thank for it.  No, that wasn’t a typo.  I didn’t mean aunts.  I meant ants, as in piss ants.  You know, the ones that crawl on your kitchen counter just to drive you crazy?  My mom use to call them piss ants, cause they really knew how to piss you off!

Thanks to those little piss ants, I was forced to be out of my house for four hours yesterday.  Because they had taken over more than just my kitchen this year.  They had invaded my bathroom and living room too.  Not to mention, the party they were having in Patrick’s room.  (Patrick will be a great host one day, if he continues to supply his guests with as many munchies as he’s been supplying the ants in his room.)

I had tried putting out bait traps, but that didn’t seem to permanently solve the problem.  So I had no choice but to bomb the house.  Yep, I set off a number of bug bombs in the house, in hopes of regaining my house back from the ants.  Which meant I had to find something useful to do for the next 4 hours.  Normally, I would tinker around the house and eventually find myself napping in the middle of the day.  LOL  Yes, I know it’s sad…but it’s true.

But yesterday, I had to go outside of my box (actually house) and find a place to park my caboose for four hours.  So I went to our local library.  In order to stay awake in a public place, I decided I would do the one thing that I had been unconsciously avoiding.  I started finalizing my book.

Over the summer, I had two lovely ladies proofread my book for me.  However, I had put their recommendations on the back burner, until summer was over and the kids were back in school.  Yet, the first week of school came to an end last week and I had not touched the book.  This week was half way over and I still hadn’t touched the book.

What was I waiting for?  Why was I unconsciously avoiding the completion of my book?  I guess it was out of fear.  Fear that I put my book out on the e-book market and nobody buys it.  Plus, there is a little bit of a possession issue I am struggling with.  This book is like my baby, I don’t know if I want to share it with anyone else.  Yet, in the next breath I take, I want to shout the news from the rooftops that I have written a book that I want everyone to read.

But what if they don’t read it?  What if no one gives a damn about a book that I wrote about my daughter’s struggle with a brain tumor?  Then what?  I guess that is what I have been fighting with in the back of my mind.  That is why I have been dragging my feet.

Well, the answer is, it doesn’t matter if no one reads my book.  Because the original reason I wrote the story was to give it to my daughter, so she could read it when she is older.  That goal has already been met.  I have her story saved electronically and printed on paper.  The fact that I publish the story is just one more guarantee that my daughter will have access to the story later in life.

So no matter how many people read my book, as long as Marie does, then I will have succeeded at my goal.  I guess piss ants ARE good for something…they may be tiny, but they can get you off your caboose and get something accomplished.  Thanks to them, I am one step closer to my dream.  Boy, does that feel great!

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One thought on “Big Step Forward

  1. Sometimes those little inconveniences in life help push us in other areas. One step closer, way to go. Always and ever focus on the true purpose, that Marie would know her story. That your kids will have a tangible guide to answer those age old questions, how can I DO this? How did Mom DO this? Even when you are gone. What a beautiful legacy!

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