I’ve been busy, putting the wheels in motion to get enrolled in college. I’ve also been applying for jobs every week, so I will qualify for my unemployment benefits. I’ve applied for so many substitute teaching jobs that by the time the new school year starts, I’m going to be pretty busy. Which is fine. The more exposure, the better.
Our church bulletin had a job opening posted in it the other day for an Accounts Receivable clerk at a local Catholic school/parish. It just so happened that the priest that married Frank and I has been assigned to this parish for a few years now. So I sent in my résumé to apply for the job.
Guess what, I got an interview scheduled that same day. What are the odds? I had also made some appointments with two local colleges to take a tour and meet with a financial adviser. So yesterday was the day of my job interview for the full-time Accounts Receivable position at the Catholic school/parish.
I had mixed emotions when I was driving to the interview. I spoke to God and told him that I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. The job posting said full-time, but I was hoping that it could be a job that could be a part-time position, at least for the summer. That would at least help me with child care during the summer.
My mind has played tricks with me lately. As much as I want to become a teacher, I have started to question my choice. Let’s just say that the Devil has been working overtime on my mind. I’ve had a variety of things pass my mind lately. Things like:
“Can I handle being a teacher on a daily basis?”
“Can I handle being with my kids all summer?”
“Will a teacher’s pay be enough to keep our family afloat financially?”
“Will I get enough financial assistance to pay for my college?”
“Will I find a job once I get my degree?”
These and so many more things have danced around in my head. Not enough to scare me, but enough to make me start thinking that getting another accounting job would be easier. It’s that comfort zone that I have been in for 15 years. I would go to work and not have to be a mom for 9 hours of my day. My kids would have to go to summer camp, but at least I wouldn’t have to try to keep them alive on my own all summer long. Yep, I was looking for an escape route to get out of the path of the unknown.
I do not like change, but I’m doing my best to just ride the wave. I’ve done well, for the most part, but as the kids are counting down the days before summer starts, I find myself hyperventilating more and more. I have great ambitions to get my kids in a routine and keep their brains sharp during the summer. I want them to walk into next year’s school year with sharper skills. That goal is reachable for me, but when you put my kids into the equation, things start to look bleak.
So you can imagine my conversation with God yesterday morning. Before it was done, I stopped asking what to do and started telling him what I wanted. Do you know that when you start talking to God on this level you start learning things that you didn’t expect? I was telling him things that were tangible and things that only a miracle from God could deliver.
By the time I arrived at the interview, I was able to walk in there with a clear mind. I knew what I needed from them to make this job work for me. If the criteria was met, then this was the job for me. The interview went well and it was nice to have my first face to face interview with my old priest. Frank, ever the comedian, told me the night before that I should go ahead and make a confession while I was there. You know, kill two birds with one stone. Ha ha ha Isn’t he just a card?
During the interview I told them what I had accomplished in my past positions and asked them questions like hours and wages. It turned out that they really do want a full-time employee and unfortunately the summer is their end of the year for their financial books. So that means that one of my biggest hurdles would not be avoided, I would have to figure out what to do with my kids during the summer.
I have always been pretty confident when it comes to interviews, but I did something yesterday that I had never done before. At the end of the interview I was telling them that I would have to take some time to think over the position. I would have to see if the salary and the cost of child care would be worth it for me. This is a common response from someone who has been offered a job, but I hadn’t had it offered to me yet. When I realized that I was putting the cart before the horse, I had to backtrack a bit. So I summed it up by saying that while I was thinking it over, they could decide if I would be a good fit to their team.
Needless to say, I have added all the factors together and it would not be a good opportunity to take. I feel that this was a way of God showing me that I need to stay on the path that I have chosen to take, no matter how hard the path might seem. So for now, I will continue to apply for substituting jobs and continue my pursuit to get my teaching degree. Will I be a good teacher? Only God knows. So I need to put my trust in him and let him lead me to my next journey in life.